Monday, February 21, 2011

Embracing Monday

This weekend was one of second hand treasure (hot pink 1970s heels with huge bows on the toes? WOODEN CAT PICTURES?! Cornflower blue dishes? Finally finding that ubiquitous perfect red cardigan? Yesss pleaaaaseee!) and work parties (see: Mexican lucha masks, kiddie pools of Corona, and bringing L home a huge veggie platter which he devoured in maybe two hours.) Also, I witnessed the amazingness that is the NBA dunk contest and it is officially my one goal in life to see this live. Seriously. And maybe to shake Serge Ibaka's hand.

ANYWAYS... clearly it is a rough Monday for me and my mind is idle so let's just get to it! Lovely apartments, The Hairpin, one liners, and, well you know, a whole lot more!

Also, random moment: I'm going to Bermuda... does anyone live there? Has anyone gone? Tell me what to do, other than slather sunscreen on my fair skin every 30 seconds.

***

So anyone who has followed my blog over the past little bit has gathered:
1) I'm moving in a few months
2) I love home decor
3) I'm OCD to be thinking about both those things so early on.
But that's okay, because I'm just going to show you that Erin is my hero.

One self-described “jerk,” Nir Rosen, a left-leaning journalist and fellow at New York University, was forced to resign Wednesday after tweeting: “Jesus Christ, at a moment when she is going to become a martyr and glorified, we should at least remember her role as a major war monger,” and following it up with a dismissive: “Look, she was probably groped like thousands of other women.”
And right-wing blogger Debbie Schlussel wrote: “So sad, too bad, Lara. No one told her to go there. She knew the risks. And she should have known what Islam is all about. Now she knows.” 
Hint: describing yourself as a jerk kind of makes you out to be a ... jerk. Even if you're trying to be ironic about it. Nice try though.

Thankfully, via Rachel Hills, we have a little guide for these things.

 You're really flattered. They're probably the hottest person you've ever slept with. Neither of you gets off.

Somehow, somehow I am only finding out now that reading Kris Atomic is an amazing way to say "I love you, self." So many pretty pictures can only make your life better!

Yay! I really needed some grown up books! Also, once I went into a bookstore and Atlas Shrugged was placed in the humour section. Also, did you know that you can download the kobo app for free and it essentially turns your iPhone into an ereader? I DIDN'T. AND NOW I DO. AND NOW MY LIFE IS AWESOME. Now I can alternate between Crime and Punishment and Anna Karenina without back pain chyeaaaaaaaa. 

But that won't stop me from referencing them goddamnit.

But not as hard as Roland Washington's. Shit!
"Now, I elevate." (The Hairpin was way too good this week.)

Yes Michel Martin, yes you can.

I wish I was smart enough to come up with this sort of thing.
I think everyone can always take more.
(via Gala)

Why isn't The Romantics on Netflix? I'm certainly not paying money to rent it because they seemed to have invested all their money into nice J. Crew clothes instead of writers, but that's okay, sometimes I like to just stare at stuff for hours on end! And I need something to watch when I'm exercising! 
L: Why don't you listen to like, Eye of the Tiger or something when you're biking.
BECAUSE LOOKING AT HOW AWESOME KATIE HOLMES IS IS SO MUCH MORE MOTIVATIONAL. DUH.

Time for your Monday ism! Because anything know as the hurrah/boo theory is worth being mentioned, even if it takes ages to actually understand.

Real Simple makes my life seem unnecessarily complicated. Could you guys like... peel my bananas for me? It breaks my nails... and my bananas...

Obviously, I'm a huge supporter of Planned Parenthood, and they say it better than I ever could. Cutting their funding is like giving money to a coat hanger factory. I am only half making light of a sensitive situation; I think frequently people forget about how far women have come even in only the past 50 years.
I hope I made a shiver run through your spine.
I hope I made you think.
I hope you sign.

I'm always looking for more things for Embracing Mondays! You can toss me an email (see above) or drop a link in the comments. I feel like I don't know where to find beautiful pictures as much anymore and let's be honest, my perspective alone can be kind of boring. I frequently consider letting other people take over for a week every month or something just to get a bit of variety instead of my steady flow of CAT MINIMALISM ABORTION RIGHTS. Hey, it's fun, right?

Above: Why I don't do outfit photos.
 I hope somewhere out there today someone has the opportunity to wear a ridiculous mask in my honour (and takes it!) I hope you're wearing nice shoes today. I hope I can make you smile.

Here's to hoping! Have a great week.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Wikipedia Search: Los Angeles Lakers

I can do something else besides stuff a ball through a hoop. My biggest resource is my mind.


Reading Plato doesn't make you smart.
Learning French doesn't make you interesting.
Wearing Rodarte doesn't make you creative.
Watching Breakfast at Tiffany's doesn't make you classy.
Dressing in all black doesn't make you important.

Reblogging things other people have said doesn't make you insightful.
Posting pictures of stuff other people have created doesn't make you unique.
Taking cell phone pictures of stuff and snarking about it on the internet doesn't make what you do better.
Hate doesn't make you loved.

So fuck that.

Stop feeling superior because you have a mental personal brand. Stop trying to be like Audrey Hepburn. Stop using Helvetica just because. Stop only buying stuff from one place. I do not hate any of these things. In fact, I like them. However, so frequently we define what is "good" and what is "bad" in culture and then decide to see that as a reflection of ourselves. Make fun of your friends who watch Jersey Shore and then pop on a Fellini DVD... but you're both sitting on a couch. You think you're unique because you shop at American Apparel instead of American Eagle... but you're still buying in. Cupcakes and Doritos are both bad for your health. Don't you understand that it's all marketing? I know you're smart enough to, even if you do not want to admit it.  

Only make stuff that is amazing.

Amazing does not mean perfect, amazing does not mean it will not be junk later. Amazing is about the fact that you made it, and even the term made does not have to be so rigid. Making amazing can be pictures you take or smart things that you say or responses that you think or things that you share or items that you give away. Actions, words, and thoughts can all be amazing.

I worry because although there is so much variety on the internet, it is also limited. Although there are so many books, a few are truly esteemed. Intelligence should not be based on listening to one professor's lecture about one part of one book by one Greek guy from thousands of years ago. If you actually listen to what old Greek guys were saying (and old French, an old Italian, and old whoever for that matter), most of the time they were encouraging you to think critically. Regurgitating information does not make it better. This does not mean there is not a time or place for showing others have others have done. I know that making things known is sometimes critical, and sharing is important. Tipping our cap is courteous, and gushing about beautiful things made by others is exciting, but right before you go to sleep, isn't it nice when you can say "Today I created something that is mine."

So many of us have the same feelings, but it is what we do with those feelings that truly sets us apart. Sheer capitalism guarantees that anything that is presented at a theater or sold at a store or framed in a gallery or played on the radio, no matter how obscure the location, is liked by a multitude of other people.
It is how we respond to things that actually changes us. 

And what changes us that changes the world.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Wikipedia Search: Isadora Duncan

“[Isadora] Duncan’s fondness for flowing scarves was the cause of her death in a freak automobile accident in Nice, France. Duncan’s large silk scarf while still draped around her neck, became entangled around one of the vehicle’s open-spoked wheels and rear axle, breaking her neck.



Shit.

In 1902 Ransom Olds started to produce an affordable automobile at his Oldsmobile factory and the vicious vehicles have run rampant on a killing spree across the country ever since. Sure, there are now “safety” “tests” “done” by “people” “at” “companies” but traffic related deaths remain the number one cause of injury based deaths in the world today. I blame this largely on the fact that if you stare at most cars head on, you can kind of make faces out of their parts, especially if you picture the mirrors as being ears.

These faces always look evil.

However, I will not pretend I am above cars. Frequently I am seduced by the sexiness of being able to get somewhere in the rain without getting wet, or the sheer speed of not having to watch a cheap university student argue the fare of the bus at the front while the rest of us wait to get to our desired location. Oh, it used to be two dollars? And now it’s two dollars and twenty five cents? Disgusting, yes, please continue to decry our ‘fascist capitalist’ public transportation system like a young Trotsky. Fight for the middle class, you revolutionary, before you go off to buy your five dollar coffee accompanied by an Italian breakfast pastry whose name I cannot pronounce! You are truly a champion of the suffering. Please, pursue your undoubtedly well intentioned but useless degree with nobility as you call me a sell out for going with something that it relevant to today’s economic market. You will save the world by yelling at bus drivers! I will contribute to the semi socialist country we live in by paying taxes because I will have something called a job. But I digress.
Anyways, yes, every now and then I am indeed ‘seduced’ by the desire to get a drive from someone, or hop in a cab. Please keep in mind, I use the word seduced as a metaphor. I do not intend to further the ridiculous stereotype perpetuated by advertisers that if you buy their brand of car I will be magnetized over and wash it in a bikini while eating a hamburger. That is so stupid; I would never risk getting soap suds in my hamburger. Anyways, this is a different kind of seduction. The difference between being seduced by a car and being seduced by my boyfriend is that my boyfriend’s emissions are much nicer. And smell better. And don’t pollute the planet… as much. (Sorry for the TMI? But jokes like these are so easy to make!)

Cars are bad for that. They hate the planet. Cars make genocide a verb and do it to air all the time. I know genocide is a strong word, but I’ve always wanted to be able to compare a Hummer to a Nazi.

To continue the metaphor, Hummers are no longer being made. Let’s hope that in the future that will work both ways.

Anyways, I do not need to tell you cars are bad for the environment. Al Gore does that, and I am not as eloquent nor as capable to deliver a speech on the environment without saying “**** guys, we ****ing ****ed this ****  up” as he. But my point is, you know it, and you know it well. Cars make bad stuff and then the good stuff dies and we’re full of bad and well… cars kill people. Cars kill a lot of people, for a lot of different reasons. However, people also kill people, and I guess I have not completely given up on those yet.

But this brings us to the other side of the argument:
Scarves.

They keep you warm and look good. They drape themselves happily over your body. Sometimes they are itchy, but we understand that scarves are like people: some of them are made of wool. Oh. Wait. I mean scarves are like people: all of them are different. Some of them are made of wool, and they only scratch us to keep us at our warmest. In fact, scarves can cover our hair in the rain or protect our neck in the cold while we are walking to be bus stop because we are mad at cars. Scarves also sometimes make me feel pretty, which no car has ever done. Scarves are a hug around your neck every morning, even when everything else is going wrong. Scarves are like lovers: easy to lose and but hard to break. I only wish that old lovers were turned into the Lost & Found.

So go ahead society. Use your engines and go fast with all your whirring parts, clicking noises, wheels turning, specific but varied oils, funny smells and complicated genius. I have learned how to be made happy by a piece of cloth around my neck, and I find that much smarter.

In a world with so many issues, do you ever find you forget about the environment?/ Does the environment have a "face" for you? (Example: My passion for helping Darfur started largely after seeing images of people suffering)/ Realistically, do you think you will own a car when you are "grown up"?/ Which is worse, people in the country owning cars to get from place to place or cities turning into big urban sprawls and pushing out all the wildlife?